Michael Blowhard writes:

Dear Blowhards --

Out in California visiting with the in-laws. A routine business-solicitation letter arrives in the mail. Nothing special. A familiar style of envelope featuring a familiar style of special offer, or something:

And inside, a familiar style of friendly-eager letter, featuring a familiar style of contest, or something:

It's on its way to the shredder, in other words. But wait. Something has caught the attention. Let's take a closer look at that offer on the envelope:

And what was that sweepstakes featured in the letter?

Yup, that's right: Today the in-laws received a business-solicitation letter pitching the idea of buying cremation services now rather than waiting 'till the usual time.

Some alluring passages from the Neptune Society's letter:

More and more people are choosing cremation over traditional funeral arrangements ... The numbers are increasing every year! ... There are several advantages to making your arrangements now. First, you lock in today's price ...

As the Neptune Society apparently likes to say: "Cremation just makes sense."

Given that one reason that the Neptune Society gives to consider cremation is that "It has less impact on the environment," it seems fitting that the Neptune Society wants us to know that their envelope and letter were both

I couldn't help wondering what the "ash" content of this recycled paper was.

The reaction of my beloved stepdad-in-law, to whom this letter was specifically addressed? "How did they know where to find me?"

Best,

Michael

Whatever the ash content, the folks in the frozen north would say the ish content is awfully high.

Posted by: Reg Cæsar on February 26, 2008 4:33 PM






Post a comment

Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember your info?