I can't actually read the Jezebel bit because I am at work. But the "has porn ruined sex" bit did get my attention.

As I've made clear, I'm a traditional guy, and even a practicing Catholic. So, it may surprise people that I don't believe that porn has ruined sex.

Porn brought sexual behavior out into open view. This is a damnably bad thing, and a helluva good thing (and probably everything in between).

We are only in the initial stages of living with sexuality in open view, and many of us cannot refrain from acting like babies emancipated from our cribs. This is to be expected. So, for some time we can expect little except the most childish behavior as a result of sexual openness.

On the other end of the spectrum, we will learn far down the road that all sexual behavior is an expression of the desire to be loved, and that that desire is expressed in myriad ways. We might even learn an enlarged sense of compassion in the process.

We are all desperately needy in this part of our lives. Our needs and desires are seldom fully met. I am one of the few who was fortunate enough to experience the complete fulfillment of those needs and desires for a period of my life... when Myrna was still here.

And, porn did play a part. While this included all the usual scenes of raw flesh, slapstick comedy and pathetic tragedy, it also was the manifest appearance of God in my life.

Posted by: Shouting Thomas on December 13, 2007 11:47 AM

Reading that Safran article makes me wonder at this seemingly unstoppable trend of journalists who apparently socialize only with people as shallow & tunnel-visioned as themselves usually in places like LA & NY, yet still feel qualified to attribute the qualities of their sad social circles to "Americans" & the "British".

Posted by: LT on December 13, 2007 12:54 PM

LT's on to something. Can't speak to LA, but women in Manhattan mostly strut their stuff like goddesses. Let's hear it for BOOT season!

By contrast, females in flyover country generally dress like... Michael Blowhard.

Posted by: James M. on December 13, 2007 2:13 PM

ST -- That's a great piece of writing. Don't lose it! Eager to hear more.

LT, James -- Funny. I don't think the guy who wrote the article was thinking about gals in Missouri ... You've got me remembering a hilarious incident. I was talking to some women from Atlanta. They told me they were huge fans of "Sex in the City" and asked me if I liked the show. I told them that, even though it was obviously well-done, I couldn't stand it, because I spend my day working around gals like the characters in the show, and even if they were being satirized it was all just Too Much for me. The Atlanta women were amazed by two things: That women like the ones in "Sex in the City" really exist, and that the show was intended as a satire. I think they just took it as a kind of fun fantasy.

Posted by: Michael Blowhard on December 13, 2007 2:28 PM

re: porn has ruined sex

Am I the only one who thinks that porn did not influence this movement so much?

Here me out:
Back in the day it was pretty common for (almost) everyone to get their news from Murrow or Cronkite (or at least know who they were), read Time and Life and watch the same TV programs and movies.

Now, its Cosmo for the girls and FHM for the guys.

Drew Barrymore for the girls and Adam Sandler for the guys.

Sex and the City for the girls and, well, you get the idea.

Yeah, guys can watch an amazing amount of porn, for free, at the drop of a hat, but the problem is that it enters their consciousness without any filter or reference.

And what guidance do these guys get:
"Just be yourself", "Never be ashamed of who you are", "You shouldn't care what other people think" (a personal favorite), etc.

Also, this latest generation of young men no longer see girls as being sweet, innocent, delicate young creatures.

The way that many young women dress, behave and are represented on "dramatic" TV shows, well, you would never expect them to be seen as sweet in the first place.

So, yeah, shoot your stuff wherever you want to. And, if she doesn't like it, well, she does all sorts of things that you don't like either.

Also, don't forget the most basic message that you get from almost all Hip Hop albums: I am going to get mine, so you might as well get yours.

Posted by: Ian Lewis on December 13, 2007 3:48 PM

Like Toby Young, I've seen Leah McLaren, and she is indeed a knockout. I can't say, however, that I was "bowelled over" by her. I'm getting some disturbing image-hints of what that might be, and I must say I'm a bit concerned for Mr. Young, what with LM knocking him out, and all. Was it her bowelling that did it?

Posted by: PatrickH on December 13, 2007 9:03 PM

Oh, and Toby needs to talk to Roissy about his approach. Jeebus, what a beta!

Posted by: PatrickH on December 13, 2007 9:09 PM






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