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March 22, 2006

Morning Routines

Michael Blowhard writes:

Dear Blowhards --

The New York Post included an amusing info-graphic amid a package of articles about people's morning-grooming habits. Let's contrast gals 'n' guys!

  • Women spend 5 minutes on breakfast. Men spend 2.
  • Women spend 8 minutes on bathing. Men spend 5.
  • Women spend 15 minutes on makeup and grooming. Men spend 2 minutes on their grooming.
  • Women spend 18 minutes getting their hair ready. Men spend one minute.
  • Women spend 8 minutes choosing their clothes and donning them. Men get through this chore in 3 minutes.

The total time spent preparing for the day's battles? Women: 54 minutes. Men: 13 minutes. (I wonder how many men kill the time they spend waiting for their women by surfing blogs ...) This being the New York Post, no source was given for these figures, but what the heck. I guess one message is: Women, if you want a little more free time in your day, get a crewcut, skip the makeup, and wear the same business suit you wore yesterday.

I'm lucky: The Wife is not only a glam and sexy thang with a distinctive and fun look, she pulls herself together with less fuss (and in less time) than most gals seem to. Even so, I don't generally mind the energy and time women put into making themselves presentable, do you? In most cases, I take a woman's self-presentation to be an act of self-expression as well as a gift to the general culture -- as something to be appreciated and relished as a small act of poetry. That said, well, nearly everything can be overdone and made neurotic. And how nutsy are the gals who make an over-big production number out of preparing to face the world?

Does the picture portrayed in the Post's info-graphic ring true to you? The New York Post's website is here.



posted by Michael at March 22, 2006


My hair simply won't "blow dry" in less than 20 minutes. Did this thing say eight minutes? Plus, I can stare at the clothes in my closet for at least 10 minutes just trying to figure what it is I want to wear...and where is that blue sweater, anyway? I'm too sleepy in the morning to make quick decisions...However, I've noticed that most men THINK it only takes them 13 minutes to get ready, they wait until 10 minutes before its time to go...and then it takes more like 25 minutes. Meaning, men run late a lot more than women, because women start earlier! But somehow, women have the "bad rap."

Posted by: annette on March 22, 2006 12:05 PM

Hey, if we couldn't beef about our gals (and then tease 'em a bit too), why would we bother getting up in the morning in the first place?

Posted by: Michael Blowhard on March 22, 2006 12:10 PM

So..."teasing your wife" should be inserted at about 45 minutes??

Posted by: annette on March 22, 2006 12:44 PM

I don't see any articles on grooming or info-graphics- and I don't have time or patience to scan for it, but I'll take your word for it.

After having a chance to live in a student dorm for 5 yrs, with all-female floor arrangement, I can tell you categorically - there are no 2 women alike. Take the bathing routine, f.ex. - a hot shower is the best 45 min I look forward to whole day; but I had a house guest who I expected to get a break from entertaining for at least 1/4hr when she emerged from the bathroom in 5min. I assumed something was not to her liking there, but was told she has already showered, applied various lotions and make-up, and was quite satisfied.

Fot some interesting thoughts on grooming, look her.

[sorry for OT: can you check your mail?]

Posted by: Tatyana on March 22, 2006 12:45 PM

Two minutes for breakfast???

What on earth comprises breakfast for the guys sampled/interviewed/whatevered?

Posted by: Donald Pittenger on March 22, 2006 12:46 PM

"In most cases, I take a woman's self-presentation to be an act of self-expression and a gift to the general culture -- as something to be appreciated and relished as a small act of poetry. That said, well, nearly everything can be overdone and made neurotic. And how nutsy are the gals who make an over-big production number out of preparing to face the world?" - i think your remarks are in their way a little piece of poetry and certainly an hommage to the "fair sex".
bathing in 8 minutes? it doesn't smell good... breakfasting in two minutes? are they in hunger strike? getting their hair ready in one minute? well, quite possible when one has a short cut, or is a skinhead,or simply he is bald.

Posted by: acrv on March 22, 2006 1:07 PM

My mother's cousin worked for a motel and often had amusing stories to tell. One of her favorites (often repeated) was that when she cleaned rooms occupied by couples she often found on top of the dresser or bedside table a neat little pile of toenail clippings. The scenario she envisioned was that the man got his shower and so on, then dawdled over his dressing while his wife took her turn, and when he got to his socks noticed that he hadn't clipped his nails for a while. So he devoted some time and care to them -- so much, in fact, that he hated to just throw the shards away. Anyway, just as he gets his socks on, his wife comes bursting out and wants to be zipped up, so he forgets about his toenail bits. Could be.

She also claimed that D.B. Cooper stayed in that motel the night before he jumped out of the airplane with all that money. She was interviewed by the FBI.

Prairie Mary

Posted by: Mary Scriver on March 22, 2006 1:41 PM

You can cut all those times at least in half for me, but the goddess more than picks up the slack. She feels she's barely damp after 18 minutes in the shower.

Posted by: Sluggo on March 22, 2006 4:09 PM

Seriously - two minutes on breakfast? What are you boys eating - astronaut gel packs on the way out the door? And doesn't shaving your face take longer than two minutes?

I'm with Annette - my hair takes a good 10 minutes to blow dry. Believe me - I've contemplated shaving it off, but I suspect I have a lumpy skull. Funny stuff!

Posted by: jenny on March 22, 2006 5:33 PM

I think the numbers must be averages that are skewed downward by people who don't eat breakfast and so forth. Who spends two minutes eating? More likely, some people spend ten or twenty minutes and quite a few don't eat at all. I'll bet this is true of bathing as well, though I think fewer people are going to admit it in that case. (And lots of men don't shave every day.) Also, 1 minute for hair is more than enough if you have short hair.

Maybe the survey should also have counted time spent buying breakfast on the way to work, shaving/applying makeup in the car, etc.

Posted by: Jonathan on March 22, 2006 7:06 PM

It's when I'm reading sentences like "applying make-up in the car" I thank my lucky stars for not having to live outside the big city and actually learn to drive.

Posted by: Tatyana on March 22, 2006 7:19 PM

These days, I'm sorry to say, I spend more time procrastinating than getting ready, so eager am I not to get started with the day. This usually involves about an hour of coffee drinking and blog reading, then a mad dash to get ready for the day.

But the hair does take forever. For a while I was swimming about three days a week and I actually contemplated getting a brush cut, but I'm too self-conscious about the size of my head in relation to the body.

Posted by: Rachel on March 22, 2006 8:04 PM

Jnathoan: "I think the numbers must be averages that are skewed downward by people who don't eat breakfast and so forth. Who spends two minutes eating?"

Yeah. Reminds me of the statistic about how during the course of your life you'll spend a huge time sleeping but only a few seconds a day with your kids - the implied message being that we should value family more. But the statistic forgets the twenty-ish years before the kids are born, and the forty-ish years after they've left the nest, during which parents spend no time with their kids at all. This is what brings the average down enough to make it a gee-whiz statistic.

Posted by: Brian on March 22, 2006 8:28 PM

I must push the average downward ... most mornings I'm out of the house within ten minutes of the alarm's going off.

Posted by: Peter on March 22, 2006 10:45 PM

The numbers seem ridiculous for both sexes to me. I'd rather see a broader statistic just comparing the time from when people get up (or their alarms go off) to when they have walked out their front doors. I don't think you can accurately compare unless you cover the time sucks that occur in between these activities.

Posted by: claire on March 22, 2006 11:16 PM

DB Cooper. What in God's name does that have to do with style? Sheesh.

Posted by: Maggie on March 23, 2006 5:16 AM

DB Cooper. What in God's name does that have to do with style? Sheesh.

Posted by: Maggie on March 23, 2006 5:16 AM

An article about how men get ready in the morning that doesn't mention shaving? Is that included in the 2 minutes for "grooming"? What's with that? I've often let my beard grow in order to avoid the bother of shaving every morning, but I never seem to have any extra time anyway.

Posted by: Robert Speirs on March 23, 2006 9:22 AM

Jonathan: Dude! I really did a meat-axe job on your name last night, didn't I? "Jnathoan"? Seriously, WTF? My apologies. I can't even imagine what might have happened.

Posted by: Brian on March 23, 2006 1:08 PM

Brian, no worries!

Posted by: Jonathan on March 23, 2006 5:58 PM

Isn't it more a matter of temperament or personality than sex?

With all of the type A personality career women out there (or so we're told) there must be as many competitive women who charge into the day as there are non-competitive men who slowly back into it.

Posted by: ricpic on March 24, 2006 11:19 AM

Maggie, so I guess I'm to assume that you don't want to buy some of D.B. Cooper's toenail clippings?

Prairie Mary

Posted by: Mary Scriver on March 24, 2006 11:29 AM

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