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February 08, 2006

Group Differences 7

Michael Blowhard writes:

Dear Blowhards --

* A Swiss study finds that the Italian-Swiss bond tightly with their families, while the German-Swiss tend to "keep a safe distance from their relatives."

* Susan Crain Bakos has discovered that she has the hots for black men, and for reasons that probably won't surprise you.

* In "Boy Vey!", her advice book for Christian gals dating Jewish guys, Kristina Grish reveals that Jewish guys like to make jokes, are germophobic, have scarily powerful mothers, can often be found in law and medical offices, are warm and eager-to-please in the sack, and kvetch a lot.



posted by Michael at February 8, 2006


I was quite disturbed when I read that article by Susan Crain Bakos in the New York Press a couple of months ago, in which she proclaimed her preference for black men. Not because of her preferences, but because her criticisms of white men are, with few exceptions, completely true.

Posted by: Peter on February 8, 2006 4:19 PM

Shhh, don't let that get around!

Well, actually, I suppose we aren't fooling anyone anyway ...

Posted by: Michael Blowhard on February 8, 2006 4:30 PM

A woman with Bakos' preferences except for Indian men is called a "tomahawk sniffer." The guys have quickly picked up on the idea that they are romanticized and generally manage to drop the information that they are adept at "tantric sex." I reference Woody Kipp in his autobiographical "Viet Cong at Wounded Knee." (U of Nebraska Press) It seems to work for him. He never runs out of white female ranch owners willing to indulge a writer.

Prairie Mary

Posted by: Mary Scriver on February 8, 2006 4:57 PM

I think Ms. Bakos is extremely superficial. She has obviously been reading too many pop pschyology treatises. She needs to get out of the big city occasionally and see the rest of the country. Her revealing comments about being in a bar where she meets this guy for the first time and then after 30 minutes ends up kissing him in a cab (on the way to her place?) seems to sum up her pathetic life very nicely. It'll be interesting to see how she fares in that bar in, say, ten years. What does she do when the longing looks stop coming her way?

Posted by: Bob Grier on February 8, 2006 8:40 PM

Didn’t see much of anything about group differences in the Susan Crain Bakos piece. It seemed on a much lesser level than, say, Toni Bentley’s discovery of transcendent sodomy in “The Surrender,” but similar in that both women make fetishes of their male sexual partners. Bakos doesn’t appear to even see her partners as individuals, or want to, or need to, just as Bentley’s relationship with her ultimate lover didn’t appear to go beyond the boudoir even though he was supposedly her sexual soulmate. Bakos also reminds me a bit of a male friend (Polish background from Chicago who was never much around any Asians until he moved to California) who dates Asian women exclusively. And while he is not stupid enough to ascribe any special sexual kung-fu to his Asian partners, it is clear that whatever it is that gives him an extra tingle in these relationships has everything to do with his own fantasies and preferences and little to do with anything that the women actually bring to the table.

Also, I know from conversations with some folk in inter-“other” relationships that sometimes part of the dynamic is that the couples feel free to ask things of each other that they would not ask of “one of their own,” and since this includes a white American guy who found other white American women more boring than French women, mere ethnicity is not always a factor.

I note in passing that Ms Bakos doesn’t offer much to demonstrate that she is particularly hot, desirable or sensual, so I am not sure how much I should credit her judgment about her partners (on the other hand, by the way, I did get the sense that Toni Bentley could walk the walk as well as talk the talk). So while I might wish Bakos many days and nights of ecstasy, her column seems to be much ado about nothing.

Posted by: Alec on February 9, 2006 3:57 AM

I was reminded of John Gielgud's line "I'll alert the media", then I realized she already had!

Posted by: Brian on February 9, 2006 10:08 PM

I found Bakos' comments shallow and insulting.

Further than that, I would like to know, how large was her sample? If she sampled fewer than 200 of each race she might not have enough subjects to conduct a real survey.

Posted by: miriam on February 12, 2006 2:29 PM

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