Maximum Leader Michael:

I am writing to report on the recent incident in which a certain individual tried to alert the world to the vast danger posed by the writings on our website. Fortunately, it appears that so far he has merely claimed that we have a hidden political agenda, which he accuses us of trying to covertly put over on the architectural world. (His pitiful attempts to alert the Mandarins of Modernism, the Paladins of PoMo and the Dukes of Decon to the danger represented by 2blowhards can be read here, here and here.)

Hah, if the pathetic fool only knew the full truth about our sinister plans! When your Supreme Maximalness gives the word, our minions will use our advanced mind control technology to brainwash university architecture faculty members and reprogram the editorial staff of every architectural magazine! I include a picture from a recent “test” of our mind control technology below, which, as you recall, was terrifically successful.

Victim: Oooh, I feel so funny! Maximum Leader Michael: Remember, my dear, brick is the building material of the future!

Once we have reduced all architectural authority figures to mere zombies like the young lady above, we will order them to plug our wildly reactionary philosophy, stressing that BRICK and only BRICK is the architectural material of the future. As a result the demand for brick will soar, and the value of our secret investments in the nation's brickyards will skyrocket, granting us vast riches! Bwah hah hah!

While premature discovery of our plans could be fatal, I believe our cover story of being a harmless, wouldn't-hurt-a-fly culture blog will continue to disguise our fiendish plans.

Yours in world domination,

Evil Doktor Friedrich

P.S. In groveling subservience to Your Supreme Maximum-osity, may I ask if you’re completely finished with our female brainwashing victim? (It’s only that I’ve been working so hard on our evil plans lately, and I feel the need of some relaxation.)

Awe dudes, I thought this guy was banned from commenting! Now you pull a fast one and send me to his sight! Tell me it ain't so!

"Oooh, I feel so funny!"

You are diabolically trying to confuse me. Hey, that's got to be the first stage in brainwashing.

Oh Evil Doktor Friedrich where is this minion to turn?

Bricks...must find bricks. (blank expression) Must buy stock in General Shale...must create new line of brick furniture. Just go now to the brick yard! I must skulk around the brick yard.

Yes, yes, yes!!!

Posted by: laurel on May 14, 2003 6:36 AM

And now you've gone and got him all worked up again.

PS How do you feel about natural stone? I've got this old, no-longer-in-production gravel pit. Should I alter my business plan?

Posted by: Scott Chaffin on May 14, 2003 7:39 AM






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