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« Policy Break--Traffic Congestion Charges | Main | Computer Games and Me »

April 21, 2003

Women and Men, Chapter 7,623,088

Friedrich --

Do you have any luck getting your wife to talk about ideas, art and politics? I pretty much have to put a headlock on mine in order to make such conversations happen -- this despite the fact that she's far more interesting, more sensitive, and more insightful than I am. Left to her own devices, though, she'd spend 90% of our conversation time talking about her feelings, pulling apart relationships, and discussing the maintenance and upkeep of her own wonderful self. (The rest of the time she'd spend talking about food.)

But the really awe-inspiring thing is the way she takes any attempt on my part to get the conversation on to any other topic as something cosmically unjust. What's normal and just is talking about feelings, etc., while any desire of mine for, say, a casual exchange about the morning's headlines is apparently a perverse quirk, and barely to be tolerated. As corny a guys=Mars/gals=Venus cliche as this is, there you have it.

I do notice one thing that might qualify as an original perception: while her hours of gabbing about relationships etc leave me feeling drained and exhausted, they leave her feeling all charged up -- stoked. From which I deduce that, in the Wife's mind, the right and proper thing is for the man to burn himself up and be left a charred husk so that his woman might spend an hour or two feeling good about herself.

I got the Wife's consent to run this posting, by the way. I asked if it would be OK to write and post it. She gave me one of those "men will ruin everything unless you watch them carefully" looks, then said, "As long as you let everyone know how much you love me." (I do, I do!) And then we had a good, long, searching talk about how she's been feeling about herself recently.

Best, if a trifle charred-huskish,


posted by Michael at April 21, 2003


~sigh~ I think I was meant to be a man. Don't get me wrong - I'm glad I'm a woman. I don't want to be a man, but I have never been able to understand why so many women want to talk about nothing but relationships, food, shopping, clothes, makeup, housework (even working women can't seem to get enough of talking about housework) general gossip and other mundane, boring stuff like that. And women who get all touchy-feely about feelings creep me out.

Unfortunately, my husband doesn't share very many of my interests and he rarely wants to get into a deep conversation about any of the interests we do share - just a comment or two about something and then change the subject.

Posted by: Lynn S on April 22, 2003 5:01 PM

I have no desire EVER to talk about housework (I don't like to do it, think about it or talk about it), and I like talking about politics and ideas, although relationships, and food, are good, too. (I seem to remember an earlier posting where you expressed confusion about your wife's relationship with desserts, a relationship which I understand entirely). However, my real point, is that with all the opinionated blogging going on on this website, you HARDLY seem left as a charred husk--although that description certainly IS a way of talking about yourself, and, ahem, your feelings...

Posted by: annette on April 22, 2003 5:21 PM

Rats, Annette beat me to my comment. What she said.

Plus, it took a lot of courage to admit how you really felt in that post.


Posted by: Deb on April 22, 2003 8:03 PM


What can I say, I wouldn't touch this topic with a ten-foot pole. You remind me of that character from the "Kentucky Fried Movie," who yelled racial epithets while wearing a motorcycle helmet and a track suit just to see if he could survive the inevitable retribution. I think you're bucking for his title: "Danger Seeker."

Annette and Deb: I think you gals are so sympatico you should start your own 'blog. You could call it something like 2blowhards. Oh, rats, that one's taken.

Posted by: Friedrich von Blowhard on April 23, 2003 11:59 AM


I read the post and wondered if Michael had a death wish....

Annette and I could do a blog about how we FEEL about art, music etc. with some housework and shopping tips thrown in..... Yeah, right.


Posted by: Deb on April 23, 2003 12:11 PM

Hmm, your comments have me wondering whether it's time to retire my impish/wide-eyed/innocently-musing/straight-faced/crossed-with-naughty-provocation thing. I mean, if it's it's that transparent ... Well, being transparent was part of the strategy, actually. But it looks like it's become transparently transparent. Hmm, I wonder if I'm just too old to carry it off any longer.

But if I don't raise these questions, who will? (Cheers, applause, and cries of "we want more!" gratefully accepted here.)

Posted by: Michael Blowhard on April 23, 2003 7:22 PM


I love your provocative questions, Michael. Don't ever change your style.

Posted by: Lynn S on April 23, 2003 10:14 PM

2Blowhard-ers? 2Blow-Jobbers? (Betcha that one would get more visitors). 2Blowin' in the Winds?

I think that there would be a niche for it---although you guys strayed into our space when you decided the person you were arguing with about modern traditional architecture (or whatever the heck it was) was using your website for therapy!! How feelings-oriented of you.

I totally encourage Michael and Friedrich to continue their wide-eyed postings---I'm learning an INCREDIBLE amount about the male mind---it's a doctoral seminar in the subject!

Posted by: annette on April 23, 2003 11:57 PM

Oh, well ... Shucks. If you insist.... OK. Maybe... but ....

(More applause needed here.)

Posted by: Michael Blowhard on April 24, 2003 12:50 AM

Bravo! Clap! (That transparency thing is showing up the charred husk feeling dissipating? (sp?)).

Posted by: annette on April 24, 2003 7:14 AM

Clap. Applause while standing up!!!! Bravo!!! Just remember to drink Pepsi, it's for those who think young ;o)

Annette, I like "Yo ho, 2Blow the men down"-- and then we could put up postings about the most boring things our spouses said to us like "oh, by the way, I didnt have a new oil filter so I put the old one back when I changed your oil."


Posted by: Deb on April 24, 2003 8:03 AM

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