You've got them believeing that, Alexis? Or at least pretending to? Good for you. You're a much better manager of the women in your life than I am of those in mine. Ooops, ...managing .... women... What did I just say? Can't be done.

Hi, Charlie B., delighted to see you here, and thanks for the info. I'd heard a bit about how entrepreneurial the kids from Eastern Europe can be. I notice a lot of what looks like Florida and the San Fernando Valley too. Not too much that reminds me of England, but maybe I surf the wrong sites. Did you ever see the Mike Figgis/Richard Gere movie "Internal Affairs"? Aside from the great title, it's loads of fun, and does a great job of putting on screen the kinds of suburbs-of-LA people and lives that often seem to appear in porn. There's a certain kind of wall to wall rug I see a lot. And all the sofas look like they were bought on sale at the same furniture store. And who are the amateurs who seem to volunteering their services? Our neighbors?

Hey, has anyone else run across a site called something like Stolen Photos? Darn, don't have the link on this computer. No idea whether it's legit or not, but the premise is priceless: that the photos on display are private nude photos that were developed by one-hour-photo places whose employees stole the photos. Maybe it's all make-believe, though, like that book turned out to be. What was it called? Oh, right: "Naked Pictures of My Ex-Girlfriends," something like that. What a great premise, given how many naked photos of ex-girlfriends must be around, and how commonplace the phenomenon is. Too bad it was a fraud, which didn't stop me from checking it out.

Hi Alice
Once again you see through to my secret agenda, which is to try to stimulate a little adult, mature, appreciative (if frisky) discussion on a topic that's important to almost everyone but that isn't spoken of much, or is spoken about sniggeringly. Why not acknowledge the importance of erotic pleasure, and its place in our lives? How a whole network of people calmly-and-mischievously talking about this stuff? But I can sense that I'm losing myself in over-earnest-land, so will stop now. Besides, Charlie B.'s way ahead of me on all this.

Hey J.C., Help or hurt, hmmm. Well, today it'd hurt. In ten years, who knows? The way things are going, maybe everyone'll just see it as another "you go girl" moment, not to be regretted but to be applauded. What's your bet? Sounds like a great idea for a screenplay, by the way. You might have your fortune made.

Three fab bloggers -- I'm flattered. If anyone's reading this who hasn't visited Alexis' blog, or Charlie's, or Alice's, do so now.

J.C., when are you going to take up blogging?

Posted by: Michael Blowhard on April 8, 2003 12:14 AM

I love Alice's idea of a porn-review 'blog. But, Michael, it'd probably best be done tongue-in-cheek.

(Er... that is, one's own tongue in one's own cheek -- unless we want to start down that slippery slope from "porn review" to "porn").

Posted by: mark on April 8, 2003 10:43 AM

Hey Michael,

why dont you start out the porn thing by posting a photo of yourself naked on the web? And dont say I will if you will because I wont.

Deb

Posted by: Deb on April 8, 2003 6:17 PM

Deb's comment---now there's a "you go girl" moment, now or 10 years from now!

Regarding nude photos of ex-girlfriends: do guys just hang onto those things hoping she'll become Miss America and they can cash in one day, or what?

Posted by: annette on April 8, 2003 6:27 PM

Annette, dont even try to understand. Most of the guys I know personally deep down have the mind of a a 15 year old--my husband included. Actually, it's one of the things I like about him, come to think about it.

Deb

Posted by: Deb on April 8, 2003 6:52 PM

For what it's worth, I have a theory that a man's truest autobiography is his porn collection. It's a good record of where his mind has spent much of its time.

I can see weaknesses in this theory, admittedly. But I can see some strengths in it too.

Posted by: Michael Blowhard on April 8, 2003 7:20 PM

Thanks Deb---no brain cells to be killed off on that question!

If Michael is correct, though, I think it's just a teeny bit sad---since most of the women in their lives will never really share in their porn collection---see Alexis' comment above, for example. Oh well, they'll know about his cars and his album collection, right?

Posted by: annette on April 8, 2003 7:30 PM

Sorry Michael, but Annette and I are having a conversation.

Annette,
Actually, in our marriage, my husband got rid of his when I asked if I could see it too. Somehow it was ok for him, but slightly disgusting or disturbing if I wanted to partake. Not that either one of us spent a lot of time on it--we were too newly married to spend time with pictures. And since the kiddies came along, we've been too worried they would find it.

I would bet Alexis would be shocked at some of the thoughts that have passed thru his mother's mind in her time......

Deb

Posted by: Deb on April 8, 2003 8:36 PM

Deb--

Ooo---good point. Maybe one thread of autobiography for women is their fantasies, but sans need for tangible visual aids! OK, I feel better now.

Posted by: annette on April 8, 2003 10:25 PM

Speaking of porn - do straight men make porn closet agreements? Or is it okay if the wife and kids or mom and dad find it when they go through your stuff after your tragic and untimely being snuffed out?

What, me blog? That probably a flattering question. The answer: a commitment phobes blogging?

Posted by: j.c. on April 8, 2003 11:43 PM

one point, slightly orthogonal to the rest of the commentary here, is that modern porn - particularly internet porn - is designed and intended for the *omega* males at the bottom of the totem pole rather than the alpha males of feminist critiques.

In other words - the notion that porn supports the "patriarchy" is not really true, because truly virile, aggressive patriarchs can get plenty of action in their day to day lives. The main consumers of porn - particularly the most popular kind today on Kazaa, where a girl is "tricked" [1] into having sex - play to the power fantasies of powerless males.

[1] They're actually professional models, but the conceit of the video is that these "sluts" could be the girls on the street.

Posted by: godless on April 9, 2003 4:14 AM

annette--my friend the local bookstore owner says part of what keeps his business alive is the little old ladies buying bodice rippers. There's some food for thought in that.....

godless, are you saying that Michael is a pathetic geeky nerd who needs to substitute fantasy for the real thing? Hmmmm....

Deb

Posted by: Deb on April 9, 2003 10:28 AM

Man, I haven't seen someone seriously float a "sex is power" theory since my gender feminist indoctrination classes back in college. Let me shoot that down like a clay pigeon with Saddam's picture printed on it. In other words: BULLSHIT.

Men like looking at nekkid women. It's hard-wired into us. End of story. To invoke the late great Bill Hicks (again), "You needn't look any further."

If you buy the whole canine societal model as a description of human power structures, and Lord help you if you do, then let me assure you, alpha through omega (heterosexual) men like looking at boobies and other pink parts, regardless of how much we're getting from our beloved partners. And it is no reflection on how we feel, or our commitment, to our wives/girlfriends.

I'm glad I'm married to a wonderful woman who understands this. She even points out "breasts in the wild" (women who have fallen out of their tops, or are leaning over too far) to me if I've missed them.

Posted by: Yahmdallah on April 9, 2003 1:20 PM

Deb--

I'm not a little old lady yet, but I haven't read a bodice ripper for a long time!! Might have to make a trip to the bookstore this weekend!

Posted by: annette on April 9, 2003 7:02 PM

Annette, me neither. What's interesting about bodice rippers, which are really soft core porn, is that they are a female phenomenon. Guys like to look. Women want to read about it. And little old ladies eat them up from what I am given to understand....gives me hope somehow.

Deb

Posted by: Deb on April 9, 2003 7:26 PM

Yahmdallah, I think we guys became irrelevant in this comment thread a long time ago ...

Posted by: Michael Blowhard on April 10, 2003 12:23 AM

In answer to j.c.'s question about porn closet agreements, when my mother was alive, I had a clause in my will that a particular storage box would be destroyed without being opened. Now that she's gone, I have no shortgae of male friends who have offered to "take care" of the box after I'm gone.

Posted by: Brian Bonobo on April 11, 2003 7:25 PM

There is indeed a whole culture of porn review blogs, Susanna Breslin's "Reverse Cowgirl Blog" has links to most of them.

I think that for men in this day and age who are in long term relationships, porn often acts as an outlet for our non-monogamous urges. It's easier for many to not stray if their fantasy life is kept alive on occasion.

Posted by: David Mercer on April 13, 2003 6:56 PM






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