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« Free Reads -- Dennis Lim and Todd Haynes | Main | The Emperor Has No Clothes »

November 02, 2002

Free Views -- Cristina Aguilera

Friedrich --

When you check into pop culture as seldom as I do, you lose track of where current pop things come from, as well as what any of it means to anyone. It's all a big, sparkly blur, like an evening of clubgoing spent on drugs and in the company of strangers. You wonder afterwards: What was that all about?

Cristina 1: Not yet Dirrty enough

As for teeny-porn pop ... Well, I wholeheartedly approve, just as I wholeheartedly cheer the parents and teachers who worry about its impact. What's pop culture without these ritual stresses?

But what do I really know about teeny-porn pop? And what do I know about how to judge it? Today, for instance, I stumbled across a new Cristina Aguilera video called "Dirrty," which can be viewed here.

Holy moly! "Dirrty" is a pop blur, all right -- of sexy kids strutting and striking poses, of flashing lights, of taunting self-caresses, and of more provocative, athletic hip-twitching than I've ever seen in my whole long life. (I worry about the future health of Cristina's lumbar region.) For most of it, Cristina is dressed in leather chaps and red panties, whose crotch she aims at you whenever possible.

Music-wise, there was a lot of whompa-whompa, of course, and a lot of whooping, hollering and growling too. You could tell when it was a blonde girl's voice because it soared out of control; you could tell when it was a black guy's voice because it growled menacingly. As for the lyrics, I could pick out only a few words: "get me off," and "sweatin' till my clothes come off" (I think a rhyme was intended). The video is like an encyclopedia of everything anyone ever thought was sexy, set to strobe lights and jackhammers.

My first thought was, Lordy! As though it wasn't difficult enough learning sexual self-control 35 years ago! Surrounded by this kind of thing, how do modern boys ever stop masturbating?

My second thought was, When did singing become a matter of vocal gymnastics instead of carrying a tune? I may be wrong, but I'm guessing it was about the same time pop music stopped being about songs and started being about sonic-effects-set-to-beats.

My third thought was: there comes a moment in a young female performer's life when she decides to declare herself no longer a child, and I guess that moment has arrived for Cristina. A young movie actress usually marks the passage to womanhood by doing her first nude scene; Cristina seems to have decided it was time to break out the chaps and panties. All of which means that she has decided that, in her previous incarnation, she wasn't being sexual enough.

Cristina 2: A woman now

But here's the question I have no way of answering, having lost whatever feel for pop I once had: Has Cristina gone too far? Will her fans follow her? I do wonder. Physically, she's lost a little of her adorable scrawniness, and seems generally less distinctive than she once did: the boobs look fake, the hair and makeup are too perfect -- she seems overwhelmed by stylists. Is she turning herself (as girl performers evidently will these days) into a Pam Anderson clonette? A bad sign: fans like having something idiosyncratic to seize hold of.

And, for all its inventively orgiastic energy, at 4:48 minutes the video seems much too long. That's what happens when you kick your performance off at such a pitch -- exhaustion sets in soon after. Even teenagers might find a 4:48-minute orgasm something they aren't eager to repeat all that often.

Still, who am I to judge? So I asked a young pop singer and clubhopper I know how she reacted to the video. "Puh-leeze," she said. "Desperation-time."



posted by Michael at November 2, 2002


Es una chica realmente bella y me gustaria ver mas fotos de ella, especialmente aquellas donde se presenta super sensual.

Posted by: Sandro Vizcarra on January 5, 2003 9:58 AM

desearia que me mandaran las letras delas canciones de su ultimo album dirrty.......

Posted by: wilmer on January 6, 2003 12:20 PM

Para que os entereis todos,la cristina aguilera es la mejor cantante que conozco.Y no solo por la excelente voz que tiene,sino tambien porque es una de las pocas que canta lo que ella quiere.No importa como se vista,cada uno es libre de enseñar lo que quiere y creo que no por eso se debe juzgar a la gente.En su ultimo disco ella a compuesto sus canciones,con ayuda de otros pero a expresado todos sus sentimentos y eso no lo hace todo el mundo por el miedo a que diran.

Posted by: alba on March 4, 2003 3:24 PM

Cristina is too dirty!
Beatiful is more... more better...

Posted by: Emma on March 15, 2003 10:23 AM

Pienso que Cristina Aguilera es una estupenda cantante, pues su timbre de voz no cualquiera lo pude tener y además su manera de moverse en el escenario hacen que ella sea la reina.

Posted by: Matrix on March 25, 2003 2:48 PM

I think Cristina Aguilera is a great singer, cuz her voice is the greatest voice I ever heard. And the way she moves when she's singing makes me feel so DIRTY!!!!!!

Posted by: Matrix on March 25, 2003 2:51 PM

well, talent wise...Aguilera kicks Britney ass...she has a better voice bu the vid of dirrty sucks!

Posted by: gypsy on April 6, 2003 12:10 PM

Cristina Aguilera es una genia ,es mi idola por favor me podrian mandarme fotos de la mas genia del mundo ,desda ya mucha gracias.

Andrea Romero

Posted by: Andrea Romero on April 10, 2003 2:59 PM

hola cristina soy de venezuela y me llamo stephany tengo 12 años, y me gustas muchisimo como cantas, como bailas,tu voz es muy linda...tu eres muy linda en si...quisiera que me mandaras fotos tuyas o cualquier cosa que te indentifiquen ok ;)
este es mi correo:

chaito cuidate

Posted by: stephany on April 13, 2003 10:07 PM

cristina: you are the best singer i really love you. You mean everything to me .please answer me

Posted by: griselda on April 22, 2003 7:16 PM

bueno yo soi barby de bs. as. de la localidad de san fernando...
bueno escribo para decirles q me encanta xtina es lo + y bueno porfa el q quiera chatear o mandarme fotos y noticias de ella me lo pueden mandar a mi mail no se olviden ... acuerdense q yo soi tan fanaticas como uds. grasias
barby mi

bay bay

Posted by: barbara on December 16, 2003 4:50 PM

queria receber músicas de Cristina Aguilera do seu novo cd

Posted by: brenno on June 19, 2004 6:44 PM

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