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October 11, 2005

Canadian "Lord"

Michael Blowhard writes:

Dear Blowhards --

The NYTimes reports that the government of Ontario province has sunk $2.5 million into the budget of a stage version of "Lord of the Rings." Next: the state of New Jersey produces Springsteen's next CD, and New York City bets the mortgage on a new Scorsese.

Wait: "Lord of the Rings" ... That doesn't even represent Canadian content, does it?



posted by Michael at October 11, 2005


Well, for one, I can't wait to see Gandalf call Saruman a "hoser".

Posted by: Yahmdallah on October 11, 2005 03:31 PM

Do hobbits even play hockey? From textual clues, this seems unlikely. Also, it seems clear that the whole conflict between the "men" and the "orcs" is just a commentary on the whole First Nations issue, and it's just wrong to paint that conflict in such stark tones of "right" and "wrong".

Clearly not authentically Canadian.

Posted by: Doug Sundseth on October 11, 2005 05:00 PM

A LOTR play? I hope they plan on having sleeping accomodations - that would be a long one...

Posted by: Mac on October 11, 2005 05:05 PM

Canadian culture is just a pale imitation of American culture anyway. The musical will probably rip off 'Lion King' and maybe Cirque de Soleil (admittedly homegrown, though in the alien culture of Quebec).

Personally, my guess is that in the musical Sauron is going to be a rapper, called "Sa-Rhawn" of course, with his posse NWA, "NaZgul With Attitude". He will also do his rapping in Ebonics, the real "Black Speech" - none of this "Ash nazg durbatuluk" honky sh*t.

Mordor, the "Black Land", will be "nigh unto Compton".

And Sa-Rhawn's latest CD will be "It Takes a Nation of Millions (in Gondor) to Hold Us Back".

Or maybe not.

Posted by: PatrickH on October 11, 2005 06:46 PM

"I hope they plan on having sleeping accomodations - that would be a long one..."

I'd just like to see the cavalry charge from the long walls to Gondor. Hey, if you can do basketball on a football field, why not a play.

You'd have to make sure the actors can really project, though.

Posted by: Doug Sundseth on October 11, 2005 07:05 PM

The Balrog scene should be pretty cool. Or hot, depending on which direction he breathes.

Posted by: mick on October 11, 2005 07:48 PM

We should buy a special block of tickets and attend the premiere together ...

Posted by: Michael Blowhard on October 12, 2005 09:47 AM

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