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June 12, 2008

Russian Women on the Make

Michael Blowhard writes:

Dear Blowhards --

In their pursuit of rich hubbies, Russian women are taking courses in such subjects as "Oral Sex for Experts," "How to Marry in Three Months," and "VUM Building." "VUM" stands for "vaginally used muscles," and yes, there's an exercise machine involved. "Once a woman reaches optimal fitness, she can shoot a fountain of water up out of her vagina in the bath," boasts the founder of Moscow's School for VUM Building.

Two quick reflections:

1) If men are perfecting Game, then why shouldn't women arm themselves with skills meant to help them triumph in the battle of the sexes? Still: Is it just me or is the dating life getting awfully Machiavellian?

2) Russian women, eh? These days they're often incredible beauties. Yet so many of them seem more materialistic and more predatory than women of any other breed.

Best,

Michael

posted by Michael at June 12, 2008

Comments

Geisha school? I didn't realize that geishas learned those sorts of skills; I thought being a geisha was about conversationalism and serving tea; those and cooking are probably more useful skills for modern women to reacquaint themselves with, as their mothers and grandmothers had known. Any woman can fuck; how many today can cook?

The water-fountain-vagina thing puts me in mind of a line in Das Boot, where a character claims that at the Reichs School for girls, young Nazi frauleins learn to write "Otto, Otto" on chalkboards, using a piece of chalk clutched in their anuses...

Posted by: anon on June 12, 2008 2:18 AM

Oh, and the dating life is getting Machiavellian. Female socio-economic power does that...

As for why Russians are so materialistic, in the one sense of the word (as is also true of most Eastern European, ex-commie nations), it's because they've long been materialistic, in the other sense of the word. That's why they've flooded the world of porn in recent years (less reticence to drop their clothes because less inclined to moral qualms than most of their western sisters, in whom some residual traces of Christian morality reside), and why they're taking these 'geisha' courses.

Posted by: anon on June 12, 2008 2:23 AM

I've never understood the Russian woman appeal -- maybe it's just the blond hair and pale skin. Balkan Slavic girls on the other hand... They're always the first I look at when the new Miss Universe contestants are announced.

Game benefits those who are Machiavellian, and men on average will crush women in a contest of Machiavellianism. So even if women do start their own version of Game, their ranks will not be nearly as swollen as men's.

There's also an asymmetry in naivete and tolerance for the other person playing games: men are less likely to be suckered (look at who is entrusted with important negotiations), and they grow bored and irritated and move on more easily when the other person plays games.

Posted by: agnostic on June 12, 2008 6:11 AM

Russian women... nice when they're young, but what are you gonna do when they blow up into babushka blimps?

This incredible crudeness is not a new feature of Russian society. Even before the revolution, Russians were infamous for their loutish, drunken, violent and lewd behavior. Everything became even more depraved under the hell on earth that was the Soviet Union.

Somehow, this posting is not making me drool in anticipation.

I've spent some time immersed in Russian culture. The relationship between Russian men and women is downright nasty and mean. They seem to like it that way. It's even worse than the relationship between black men and women, if that's possible.

You'd better like living in a war zone if you are going to pursue these women.

Posted by: Shouting Thomas on June 12, 2008 6:55 AM

"Any woman can fuck; how many today can cook?"

I'd have to argue with that statement. Few women can fuck with any style. Since we ceased teaching women grace and femininity, they have mostly become graceless cows.

If you are interested in a woman who has been taught both the arts of love and cooking, you're far better off finding yourself a Thai, Vietnamese or Filipina.

I've met plenty of women who know how to perform porn donkey tricks. If this is your idea of exciting lovemaking, you've lived an impoverished existence bereft of the real arts of the feminine.

Posted by: Shouting Thomas on June 12, 2008 6:59 AM

As for why Russians are so materialistic, in the one sense of the word (as is also true of most Eastern European, ex-commie nations), it's because they've long been materialistic

WTF? How about this Sherlock. They know what it means to be poor and want a better life. Have you seen Sex and the City? Man are those girls just sooo unworldly and sooo unmaterialistic. None of those girls are from Eastern Europe. Those materialistic Ruskies are chasing the American Dream.

As for Eastern European girls getting their gear off, this has been a fairly recent phenomena, post collapse of the Berlin wall. Most of the porn is produced by western companies who pay top dollar for good looking women. The fact that Eastern European women are hot and that there is a huge amount of them that are dirt poor explains why there are so many in porn. On the other hand why do so many American Girls want to get their gear off. What's the excuse?

Posted by: Slumlord on June 12, 2008 8:20 AM

I knew a guy who got a mail-order (Internet-order?) Russian bride. According to him, and he did go to Russia to test his, um, compatibility with three or four different women, things are pretty Darwinian there for women seeking marriage. (Or were, this was 10 years ago.) A lot of the local guys seemed unsuitable because of alcoholism or very poor economic prospects, so if a girl wanted a hubby, she had to be, well, competitive.

I think the same phenomenon is visible in the US. Historically, there is a pretty strong correlation between situations where there is a man shortage and more 'competitive' sexual conduct by women. To give some examples, the 1920s were notoriously liberated compared to previous decades, and just happened to be the era when the men killed or disabled in WWI weren't around to be husbands and fathers. (Perhaps more than a tad of similar behavior was visible during the latter 1960s when a lot of guys were unavailable due to the Vietnam war.) Likewise, people have linked high levels of illegitimate births in the black community to high levels of male incarceration there.

Who says sexual selection and inter-female competition is any less Darwinian today than in the past? Admittedly, a great deal of traditional human 'culture' was designed to tame this particular source of social friction (arranged marriages, building up the prestige and desirability of female virginity, etc.) but modern societies seem to have given up on even trying to regulate the 'survival of the fittest' urges of women. As a result, mating practices seem to have returned to a chimpanzee level of sexual ruthlessness and gamesmanship.

Posted by: Friedrich von Blowhard on June 12, 2008 8:42 AM

"VUM" stands for "vaginally used muscles," and yes, there's an exercise machine involved. "Once a woman reaches optimal fitness, she can shoot a fountain of water up out of her vagina in the bath," boasts the founder of Moscow's School for VUM Building.

This Thread Is Useless Without Video.

One theory attributes the famous beauty of Russian women to World War II's huge death toll. With so many millions of Russian men having died in the war, for years afterwards only the most beautiful women had a reasonable chance of marriage. Their daughters and granddaughters, in turn, inherited this beauty.

Posted by: Peter on June 12, 2008 9:32 AM

"Yet so many of them (Russian women) seem more materialistic and more predatory than women of any other breed."

Michael, I think you can extend the generalization form Russian to Slavic, based on visits back to the Land of Croats.

But, one addendum if you don't mind. It's understandable to be in that mindset. Not counting the incalculable damage done by WW II on the 2 generations coming after the war (to say nothing of the survivors of the war that gave birth to those generations), the current situation in Russia and the Balkans is still reacting to the enormous shift in the Communist/Socialist/Capitalist manner of thinking. Weak souls are dying or wasting away. It's the strong self-centered folks, women in this case, who are seeing what their marketability is and trying to get the edge on their, ahem, product.
At first, I was bowled over by the in-your-face materialism that I constantly came upon when in Croatia, specifically the interrogation of salary, # and model of cars, tv's, and computers, and house size and location.
After a while, I realized the only thing I had a problem with is the lack of soft advertising skills that the women possessed. I'm sure that too will come with time.

Posted by: DarkoV on June 12, 2008 9:45 AM

My experiences with Russian women: flirty, fun, feminine, cultured . . . and quick to dump you for someone else on the slightest pretext. I recently went out on a first date with a really, really beautiful dark haired ethnic Russian from Kazakhstan. (I'd say a 9.5.) It was probably the best date of my life, and I could tell she was _totally_ into me. (I have never seen such adoring puppy dog eyes.) But then, not usually being a first date kisser, when we were back at our cars I went in for a kiss on the cheek. She had other ideas. As I'm on the way down, I notice this wide open mouth waiting for me. Too late. Our heads clunked together. I never saw her again.

The Russian education system give them a good education. These girls tend to be quite cultured, and art chat will go a long way with them. It will separate you from the rest of the North American boobs they encounter. They particularly love it if you can discuss Pushkin with them. (Russians think well of Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, and Chekhov, but they love Pushkin, so bonus points for you if you've actually read some of him.)

I'd recommend you read Charles Johnson's version of Eugene Onegin. Used copies are cheap.

Posted by: Thursday on June 12, 2008 12:01 PM

I should also note that Eastern European women, Russians, Poles, Ukranians, all have bad reps as cheaters.

Posted by: Thursday on June 12, 2008 12:31 PM

men are less likely to be suckered (look at who is entrusted with important negotiations)

The way a man acts in business or politics is a poor predictor of what a sucker he can be when it comes to love & sex.

they grow bored and irritated and move on more easily when the other person plays games.

actually men are often excited, not bored, by women who play the game well. in my experience, it's these women who bag the big ones, not the sweet, transparent girl next door. in any event, both men & women will put up with quite a lot from a game-playing gf/bf, if the game player has enough charisma or attractiveness or status or just that something about them that just hits that spot just right, etc.

Posted by: jack on June 12, 2008 5:55 PM

These women are whores, willing to sell themselves to one man, rather than many. And they call it marriage and then it acquires the mask of legality and propriety.

Posted by: Peter L. Winkler on June 12, 2008 6:44 PM

If men are perfecting Game, then why shouldn't women arm themselves with skills meant to help them triumph in the battle of the sexes/

Women have always had Game. Concepts like "playing hard to get", that cliche "send yourself flowers" which is really a version of the highly effective ploy of conveying that one has many options and are in high demand, feigned coyness/innocence, being mysterious, (figuratively) topping from the bottom, and so on are centuries-old tactics practiced by women everywhere. Such tactics have always been freely discussed among female friends or handed down as advice by older female relatives, or dispensed by writers of books like "The Rules" (which is currently the most famous, but by no means the 1st Game for Girls guides - Moore had a big hit in the 1920's with a far more coldly strategic manual for wrapping men around one's finger).

Also, the idea that Pragmatic Woman is somehow less accomplished at emotional machiavellianism (not necessarily for nefarious ends e.g. seeking a marriage proposal, or getting her offspring to do what she wants)is making me laugh.

Posted by: winchester on June 12, 2008 7:48 PM

"I've met plenty of women who know how to perform porn donkey tricks."

I think that says it all.

Posted by: Sister Wolf on June 12, 2008 8:04 PM

This is sooo misguided.

In my experience the quality of sex with a woman has exactly two dimensions:

1) How good looking she is
2) How how into the experience she seems to be

Without (1), (2) is pretty worthless (it's actually almost embarrassing to be around; it makes me think I'm ridiculously out of her league which leads to me thinking that I have to get away from her before she gets crazy attached).

Without (2), a woman who scores highly on (1) is still pretty damned good. Worst thing that can happen there is that you're giving it your all while she looks like she'd rather be doing her nails. This is demoralizing in a relationship but perfectly acceptable in a chance encounter.

To me, this strikes me as typical behavior by one sex in doing something that would impress them if a member of the opposite sex did it (but it doesn't really do anything for the opposite sex). This is like a woman going to law school. Women know they're impressed by high status men so they think that being high status will get them better men. Similarly, women know that a man's skill in bed is amazingly important to them (you can get away with murder in a relationship if you're good in bed) so they think that they will land a better man if they're better in bed. It just doesn't work like that.

Posted by: Steve Johnson on June 12, 2008 9:02 PM

"Who says sexual selection and inter-female competition is any less Darwinian today than in the past? Admittedly, a great deal of traditional human 'culture' was designed to tame this particular source of social friction (arranged marriages, building up the prestige and desirability of female virginity, etc.) but modern societies seem to have given up on even trying to regulate the 'survival of the fittest' urges of women. As a result, mating practices seem to have returned to a chimpanzee level of sexual ruthlessness and gamesmanship."

Human nature has not changed. All that is happening is the civilized veneer is being peeled away.

Much like the evolution of human consciousness reaching higher levels of reflexivity and self-awareness, our cultural awareness (due to technology) is bringing us to a more intimate acquaintance with our "selves."

Posted by: Tupac Chopra on June 12, 2008 9:39 PM

...men on average will crush women in a contest of Machiavellianism.

Really? What kind?

Posted by: PatrickH on June 12, 2008 10:32 PM

This is like a woman going to law school. Women know they're impressed by high status men so they think that being high status will get them better men.

They're right. It will help them get higher status men because law school (or med school or business school etc.) puts them in daily contact with these men in school and later on in the workplace in professions where due to the long hours, it's hard to find time to meet & socialize with someone outside your field. It's no surprise that people tend to marry the types of people they spend most of their day with. Female professionals are way more likely to be married to their male counterparts for precisely that reason.

Also, social class matters when it comes to marriage - education can pull people into a higher social class and as such, give them a higher placed selection of potential mates.

Posted by: w on June 12, 2008 11:32 PM

"Female professionals are way more likely to be married to their male counterparts for precisely that reason."

Ah, but are female professionals more likely to marry their male counterparts than equally intelligent non-professional women? There's a huge confounding variable there. Obviously a doctor isn't going to want to marry some 95 IQ chick who, even if she wanted to, couldn't become a doctor but that doesn't mean he prefers a female doctor to a female who isn't a doctor but had the intelligence to become one.

Basically, if my hypothesis is true, women can put themselves in a situation where they are exposed to the type of men they want to marry (secretaries at law firms, nurses, the seemingly NYC only job of "trader's assistant" (which is filled exclusively with hot women), etc.) and will have just as good of a chance (if not better) to marry a high status man than a woman who goes out and becomes a professional. Of course, now we're in the realm of anecdote.

Posted by: Steve Johnson on June 13, 2008 3:19 AM

Pharmaceutical sales would be better than "nurse" in my previous post.

On top the jobs in my last post that are all about working with professional men, there are whole fields that have been invented seemingly just to give women who have elite educations access to rich men; anything in the non-profit sector (all those fund-raising dinners), art auction houses (small field, but there aren't that many members of the elite out there), etc.

Posted by: Steve Johnson on June 13, 2008 3:24 AM

I think that works best for beauties. Basically, I think it comes down to this - if a woman is beautiful and not overtly trashy in her appearance/demeanor, all types of men will approach her wherever she is. She doesn't really need help.

For the remaining 95% of women who need a leg up, however, pursuing a higher education & a career can be a good bet (besides the obvious benefit of ensuring their financial security and for those women who value it, intellectual/personal satisfaction) - in grad school, it guarantees them daily access to hundreds of captive, promising men in an environment conducive to bonding before they hit the big time & landing them gets more competitive (most of my guy friends met their spouses in their late 20s, which tilted the field towards their fellow grad students).

It also allows them to work side by side with men in what are generally highly stratified work environments (in my experience, secretaries, nurses, etc. do not mix socially with upper level staff - maybe blame this on class differences), and gives them entree to a higher-level network of friends and thus parties, dinners, professional events, "I want you to meet this guy I work with/went to school with" fix-ups, etc. where they have more of a chance to meet good prospects. Women without the right credentials (e.g. professional, familial, or physical) will find it harder to break into this sort of scene.

Those low-paid but high-profile jobs in the arts, fashion, non-profits ("cool" non-profits, that is; non-profits doing social work with the underclass don't count) are hard to get for a girl who doesn't come from the right family, went to state school, or whose parents can't subsidize her rent in the big city until she gets married.

Posted by: w on June 13, 2008 1:19 PM

Many young women go to law school not because they see it as a way of meeting higher-status men but because they more or less fall into it. Going to law school has become a popular choice for liberal arts graduates of both genders with no marketable skills and no job prospects. This is primarily because law school is easy - no math, no science, no computers.

Posted by: Peter on June 13, 2008 2:02 PM

Peter is right about law school. I've met some borderline stupid people who just drifted into law school with their BA in English.

I'm still waiting for elaboration on the porn donkey show techniques that Shouting Thomas mentioned. And the lack of "grace and femininity" he notices in his lovers.

Is he looking for a ballerina or what?

Posted by: Sister Wolf on June 15, 2008 6:53 PM

Two points from the linked article that may help explain the materialism and predation referred to in your post:

"Russian women outnumber men by more than 10 million, and many men suffer from joblessness, chronic alcoholism, and early death (male life expectancy here is 59)."

"Divorce in Russia is easy; a powerful man can divorce his wife 'in an hour,' according to one local insider."

There is also the Russian saying, "there is no such thing as an ugly woman, only a lazy one." I once spent a week on a yacht in Turkey with a group of European and American tourists. There were two Russian women on the boat for a few days. Most of us dressed very casually, but the Russians got up on deck every morning at 7:00 am looking like a billion rubles. It was uncanny.

Posted by: keypusher on June 19, 2008 2:13 PM